Sexual Expectations

I heard someone say that nowadays, women are expected to do a lot more things in the bedroom; things like oral sex were considered taboo before and now men will walk away from you if they don’t get these things.

I think there is some truth to that. Culture pertaining to sex is ever-changing. The benchmark for considering a woman ‘frigid’ or ‘adventurous’  is highly subjective depending on how you were brought up and what you’ve been exposed to in relationships. Some of our grandparents/great grandparents would have been happy with standard penetrative sex in a limited amount of positions (nothing is wrong with this at all). Now…not so much.

I’ve heard men say they will not be happy if a woman doesn’t give head, won’t have sex outside the bedroom, doesn’t do anal or is otherwise ‘boring’ in bed. We women sometimes have our particular requirements too and again there is nothing wrong with that. However I can see that there’s more pressure on women to be whatever men want them to be and people with more reserved tastes are ridiculed.

I don’t think you should do anything because ‘if you don’t do it, the next woman will’. I don’t think anyone should be made to do something they don’t actually want to do. At the same time I don’t believe people should just accept it when they are not getting what they want out of their sex life.

In a relationship this can be worked out through mutual respect, communication and sometimes compromise on both sides. This can be difficult but can ultimately be rewarding.

I didn’t know much about what I wanted sexually, I’m still finding out as I go along. This is partly because I’ve been too ashamed and cowed to find out properly beforehand. Because of this think that some of the people who declare they don’t do this and they don’t do that, are being closed-minded. I understand where they are coming from. If shame or embarrassment is holding you back, you might want to look into that. If the thought of doing a particular sex act just doesn;t interest you, or worse upsets your stomach, don’t let anyone pressure you into it.


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